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betrayal heartI wish I had met you earlier

I wish I had gazed at your brownish eyes long ago

I wish I had seen………

How did I miss the sign?

How did I miss it all?

You stood there, watching me from afar

Never making a sound

Never letting out a hint of your feelings

Here I was, always by your side

Smiling and relaxing by your side

I held you in my arms countless of times

You knew all my deepest secrets

Just as I knew yours

We would chat for hours on end

There was never a dull moment when we were together

Our days were filled with each other’s bliss

Yet, it was all for the sake of nothing

Now, when I look back

No matter how much I blame myself

The fact would remain constant

How could I let this go on, when I knew it all?

How could I betray myself just for the sake of loving you?

Yes, I still love you

It’s just a feeling, or is it?

A feeling hidden down the deepest end of my heart

Oblivious to the signs, I was the slave of an unwanted imagine

Like they always say

It’s easier to live in a bubble

Than facing reality

Now that reality has come crashing down

We both feel hurt and browbeaten

Scooped up and waded endlessly in a river of tears

No comfort can be found in our words

It is too late, what was yesterday

Can no longer be

Now, we are left with just memories and pain and wistful thinking

I wish, I wish so much

But I must wrestle with this mere fact

“Not every wish comes true.”

 

Claire Bijou, 12-20-2016

Note: Claire Bijou is poet and writer. She is a contributor to CSMS Magazine.

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