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Sunday, December 22, 2024

Knowing that he’s thinking of you day and night

By Ardain Isma

CSMS MAGAZINE

How can he rest assured when he knows that the only way forward is to be blessed once again by a surprise encounter, just as the breezy Sunday morning when he was ushered to your path by the vide of destiny. That encounter has since changed his life forever, leaving him not only with an obsessive desire to recreate the dazzling moment, but also with an emptiness that only your sweet caress, your ecstatic tenderness and your unyielding gaze can awesomely fill.            Ever since that encounter, he has been like an aimless pilgrim in an impossible mission, longing for your charm, your smile, and your magic touch that, in the flicker of an eyelid, has injected in him this feeling of intense delight that continues to be his only source of salvation each time the image of your saintly body flashes across his mind. As he becomes the lone lover whose solitude is his sole companion, he keeps wondering why the train of desire had catapulted him to your shining path if it were going to be just for short moment.            You came as just as you left—in a blur—leaving him to ponder his steps forward. If love is not affection, can there be love without affection? He keeps pondering as he wakes up in the middle of his nightmarish nights, biting his nails compulsively.            China seems near in his dream, for only in his dream can he now savor your glittering lips, your exuberantly yellowish breasts and the voluptuousness of your flawless body. Changing his dream to reality is of his utmost concern, but he knows that realizing his dream is increasingly becoming remote. The odds reveal more and more insurmountable; only a sentimental rapprochement can bring him back from the brink of melancholy. How could that happen when you live more than a thousand miles away?            He spends his days trying to stay busy, focusing on his professional obligations, writing his memoir that he hopes to publish someday and YOU would be at the center of it all. But between teaching, writing and commuting, each interval is filled with repressed feeling of expectation, short-but-deep emotion of pleasure and uncontrolled despair. He now lives between hope and fear—fear of the unknown and fear that he will grow old without ever being able to contemplate your flirtatious smile again. But the trench that you have built in his heart and buried your love there will be impossible to get rid of. So, he resigns to the faith of remaining your infinite slave condemned to die in solitude. You will be one hundred years old; he will still love you unconditionally.            Chinese princess, can you please reemerge? Can you please make the imaginary leap from Shanghai to New York or Miami? Or can you lead him the way to return to your path? Please, give him what he needs to reenergize his soul now lost in an exclusive labyrinth where he becomes the dazed bachelor who loves without pleasure, who dresses without finesse, who speaks without wit and who walks without haste.               He wants to become HE again—good humor, full of hope for the future with the joie de vivre that once marked his character. He wants to live from here on now by you, with you and for you—the sincere romancero tamed by your charms, convinced by your angelic beauty but relinquished without notice. Show him the way to reach the Chinese hinterland, the breathtaking valleys of Manchuria, the sandy beaches of Hong Kong and the lushly green foliage along the banks of the Yangtze River.            In turn, he will take you in a once-in-a-lifetime journey to his homeland of Haiti, to the town of Saint Louis Du Nord near the village of Anwodo, where butt-naked children roam the streets without any fear of reprisals from werewolves, where the sandy riverbed of Ti Rivière, the paradisiacal valley of Bois Chandelle and the tidy coconut groves of Barlatier make it impossible for any visitor to forget.              So princess, he is waiting for the wind of desire to once again blow your way and he will be right here, ready to intertwine his heart with yours so the final and everlasting journey to Paradise will begin.  Also see A Chinese Princess like no other (Part I) The last time I saw ElodieCoping with holiday stress Best tips for emerging writersCommercial success or literary lust: the dilemma facing many of our promising authorsPaul Laraque, internationally renowned Haitian poet and militant, has diedNote: Dr. Ardain Isma is a novelist and chief editor for CSMS Magazine. His latest book “Alicia” was critically acclaimed by all of its reviewers

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