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Saturday, July 2, 2022

You love him, protect him

By Gyna Jean-Pierre

black couplesaCSMS Magazine

Affection and love are two different things, but are also intrinsically linked, completely intertwined. Most girls would probably tell you yes if you were to ask them whether they were in love or not. But if you ask them whether they know how to cherish a treasure that gets them thrilled every day, they would probably morph into a perplexed character.

Experts say if you take him seriously enough to introduce him to your friends and relatives, you have to be mindful of how you present him to them. Perception, preconceived notions, and first impressions are critical to keeping the support of the people you care about most. Do your best to speak positively about him to them, and about them to him.

When you present him to your friends and family, sing his praises and highlight what you like most about him. If you’re dating a guy for a while and you’re constantly on the phone with your mom telling her only the bad things he does—how he’s always late, doesn’t call you back, etc.—she’s not going to like him.

The relationship may be going well, and there may be more positive than negative. If you focus only on the bad stuff, your mom is certainly not going to have a very high opinion of him. Try not to create a negative impression before your friends and family. Truly, you need to get to know the guy, the person you have fallen in love with. Women tend to pick apart a relationship, even when it’s going well. So, if you find yourself doing this, remind yourself to try to focus on the positive.

Nurture your friends and family’s perception of him. Don’t sabotage it. Also, prepare him for who he is about to meet. Try to make it a little easier for him. Don’t try to out-think love, overthink your relationship. It can be hard for women to do this, but try not to overanalyze everything. Make sure he’s on the same page as you in terms of what you think and how you feel about the relationship.

Sometimes the most difficult questions have the simplest answers. Consequently, don’t make things more complicated than they have to be. Be practical when developing a relationship. If you have doubts, get a second opinion from a trusted friend or a professional (like your matchmaker), but try not to involve all your girlfriends and pour out every little detail about the relationship. Trust me; he’s not doing that with the guys.

Note: Gyna Jean-Pierre is a creative writer, and she is the author of several essays on women in the Caribbean. She lives and works in Ponte Vedra, Florida.

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