I wish I had gazed at your brownish eyes long ago
I wish I had seen………
How did I miss the sign?
How did I miss it all?
You stood there, watching me from afar
Never making a sound
Never letting out a hint of your feelings
Here I was, always by your side
Smiling and relaxing by your side
I held you in my arms countless of times
You knew all my deepest secrets
Just as I knew yours
We would chat for hours on end
There was never a dull moment when we were together
Our days were filled with each other’s bliss
Yet, it was all for the sake of nothing
Now, when I look back
No matter how much I blame myself
The fact would remain constant
How could I let this go on, when I knew it all?
How could I betray myself just for the sake of loving you?
Yes, I still love you
It’s just a feeling, or is it?
A feeling hidden down the deepest end of my heart
Oblivious to the signs, I was the slave of an unwanted imagine
Like they always say
It’s easier to live in a bubble
Than facing reality
Now that reality has come crashing down
We both feel hurt and browbeaten
Scooped up and waded endlessly in a river of tears
No comfort can be found in our words
It is too late, what was yesterday
Can no longer be
Now, we are left with just memories and pain and wistful thinking
I wish, I wish so much
But I must wrestle with this mere fact
“Not every wish comes true.”
Claire Bijou, 12-20-2016
Note: Claire Bijou is poet and writer. She is a contributor to CSMS Magazine.
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